I don't think people consciously choose a life they don't want. So why do so many of us wake up one day and think, ‘How on earth did this happen? This was not the plan.’ Usually, it isn’t because we made one huge, catastrophic decision. It’s because we stopped noticing the small ones. The things we agreed to once, then kept doing. The roles we stepped into, then never stepped back from. The expectations we absorbed so gradually they started to feel like facts. It’s a slow, seemingly harmless...

It can be tempting to think that poor decisions happen because we don't have enough information. I don't think that's always true. Some of the worst decisions I've made happened when I had plenty of information, but not enough perspective. Because when we're in survival mode, something interesting happens. The challenge starts to look bigger than it really is. And our ability to handle it starts to look smaller than it really is. The mountain gets bigger. We get smaller. And from that place,...

For such an incredible piece of engineering, the nervous system does have one rather large design flaw. It doesn't always distinguish between actual danger and perceived danger. It simply detects something that feels threatening and responds accordingly. And that somewhat dodgy design is the reason so many people get stuck. Not because they're incapable or doing anything wrong. But because they're trying to build a meaningful life whilst an ancient survival system is constantly asking: "Are we s